I was watching The Sandlot (1993) the other day. That movie is so sweet. In my opinion I feel it is one of the finest sports films ever made…I say that because the film captures the true love of sport without the distractions of million dollar contracts and endorsement deals to get in the way. It’s just a really fun film to watch.
While watching I couldn’t help but notice what a douche Police Chief Palledorous is…ya know, the guy who says “For-ev-er” all weird and stuff.
The scene in the movie occurs when Squints Palledorous (his grandson) is telling the story of The Beast (Hercules) at the sleepover all the kids are having. I found a few holes in his story and all signs point to his grandfather being an Ass Hat.
The story about The Beast, the mean junkyard dog, has him killing and eating thieves that try to break into the junkyard where he lives. Squints says the dog ate so many thieves that after a while the cops started getting suspicious because they were receiving lots of calls with people reporting missing thieves…who the hell is calling the police and reporting missing thieves? That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Would it have gone something like this?
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Ring Ring
Police Operator: “Police, how may I help you?”
Guy: “Yeh, I would like to report a missing thief. I was supposed to have my TV stolen but nothing happened. I am a tax payer, goddamnit”
Police Operator: “we will send someone right over to check it out”
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No one reports missing thieves, it’s dumb and retarded to think people would. People would just not get stuff stolen if thieves were missing…it’s a good thing and not something the police would get suspicious over. Police Chief Palledorous is a moron to get all in a huff about missing thieves.
Not only is he a moron, he is clueless about the normal protocol of the law. He basically makes himself the Jury and Judge. Palledorous orders Mr. Mertle (the meanest old man that ever lived, but not really) to chain the dog up under his house for an undisclosed amount of time. When Mertle asks him how long he has to keep the dog there Palledorous gives a pretty unprofessional answer. Instead of saying “That’s for the judge to decide” like a upstanding officer of the law… Palledorous tells him “forever” in a very strange way with his lips moving around all weird.
Ummm…I am pretty sure the police don’t have the power to order you to chain your dog up for life with no court order or anything. The ACLU would have gotten involved...Fox News would have reported the developing story.
A few weeks ago I posted about how Quint from Jaws would be my number one choice of any character from cinema to “sit down and drink beer with”…well Police Chief Palledorous is my number one choice for any character from cinema “I would most like to dip my hand in warm oil and slap across the face”. He is just a horrible police chief and a dumb douche.
I posted Squints story below.
Here is what some of the media coverage may have looked like.
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